Where I experience what it means to “just be”

Last night was something special.

Let me start off by telling you why the very notion of taking time off after work is such a novel idea to me.

I’ve only been a full-time employee since the end of August. Before that, I was working a constant array of part-time gigs, freelancing, and over the summer, a full-time internship (my current job!). When I was able to ditch all of the freelancing and part-time work and focus solely on the full-time job, it happened to be the same week I started graduate school, which happens to be a weekend format.

What does that mean? That means I’m in school from 9-6 Friday night and from 9-2 on Saturday. That means my accelerated program has me pretty much working hard all week, after work, to keep up with assignments and readings.

So since day one, I’ve been go-go-go! I’m used to it considering the way I worked before, but man, it sure is tiring.

Now, I don’t want to complain too much, because there are people in my cohort with children, younger and older, and work full-time while doing this. I’m in awe of how they all do it considering how much different some of our situations tend to be!

But, I’ve been go-go-go on a near constant basis since sophomore year of undergrad… bringing me up the grand total of 4 years of work. Maybe this is why I take such lavish vacations every year. (Again, I’m very fortunate, I don’t know why I’m complaining. #firstworldproblems.)

ANYWAY. When I wrapped up my semester on Saturday, suddenly, there wasn’t a huge To-Do list staring me in the face when I got home. And on Sunday, I laid down, attempted to watch what ended up being a travesty of a Bills game, went on a mass Pinning spree on Pinterest, drank sparkling grape juice, and ended the night by unapologetically catching up on some more of The Simpsons with Mark.

Last night, I went straight from work to my friend’s house who has THE most adorable baby in the world. Little Miss Gabby has the biggest, brightest blue eyes and she just likes to stick her tongue out at me while I talk to her mom. I spent about three hours at her place just chatting, garnering some insight into the terrifying, yet seemingly well worth it, world of parenting. I was also attacked by a hyper active pug who thinks I’m part-playbuddy-part-food. After that, I was home around 8 and Mark and I decided to go have drinks at Cecelia’s martini bar on Elmwood.

HOLD THE PHONE. This is when I really enjoyed the beauty of just being. We were trying different things on the menu, we were talking about our days and events, I was not in the least bit concerned that I should be doing anything else. I wasn’t even concerned with what the bill would come out to be, which is a new, often rare, feeling. I don’t know how long this will last in my life, but wowza!

It’s funny, I didn’t realize how much I missed the man I live with, love, and intend to be with forever. How does that happen? Spend a year in my shoes, you’ll see how.

Tonight after work, the plan is to go spinning and then head to the mall to sign the banner for the victims/families/community in Newtown. While we’re there, we’ll finish some last minute shopping and maybe splurge on some things for my trip! Viva Espana!

Now, I really do want my M.A, and that’s why I continue to do these nights/weekends like I do. But this little preview of what it’s like to just be was so exciting! Nothing pressing, not needing to take assigned reading to bed with me to get ahead on work, not ignoring 70% of a movie to type a paper or write up something for a client, and above all, not being stressed about the meager earnings from a couple of part-time jobs!

I’m a Type A nut case by nature. I don’t think this life would be too fun doing it every day of every week. I strive to have a meaningful life for more than just a select few, definitely for more than just myself. I have been granted a lot of opportunities to be where I am now and it’s not over yet.

But damn it was nice being able to sip on a champagne martini without feeling like a nitwit for not working on a pressing project for once. Since I’ve been 21 (two years ago), I’ve never been able to go out without being concerned about work/school.

I need to learn more about how to just be at home. Not just in a foreign country. Because that’s getting to be expensive! haha 😉

My favorite little girl! Miss Gabby!

My favorite little girl! Miss Gabby! There was an array of cuter ones but she’s so darn squirmy it was hard to get a still pic!


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