I’m experiencing something akin to being stuck in between a rock and a hard place, and it comes from my new experience as a pseudo-employed young professional.
Transitioning to a “9-5” job, 40 hours a week, is hard enough for most new young professionals, that is, the ones that are lucky enough to find such a position. However, my new job, which is actually an internship, offers no security for what lies beyond August. Therefore, I’m kind up concerned about what I’m going to do then. I really don’t want to have to behind another cash register, but if that’s what it takes… I guess. I’m just really tired I think. I’m chronically worried about money since I don’t seem to be leaping into sufficient amounts. I’m tired from working 40 hours at Holdings + ~15 hours at Roswell + hours of freelance work + meeting scholarship deadlines + trying to maintain a semblance of regular life.
What is the rock and the hard place? I’m sure it’s something a lot of fresh out of college grads can relate to.
The rock, being that moment your responsible for every little thing in your life, with no real crutch to grab on to. You want to go back when it was easier, when there was someone there to easily steer you. The hard place is that place of guilt. Why guilt? Because, it would be easier to give up on all these aspirations and turn to something that would allow me more time, though possibly would offer less satisfaction. I would never forgive myself if I did that, and I would feel infinitely guilty for letting myself, and my two greatest inspirations, down.
So what am I doing?
I guess I’m, as they say, “truckin'”
I’ve been handed some pretty tricky cards in life. I guess I have to learn from the best and keep moving forward. I’m definitely not giving up, that would probably be against the Moral Code of Sam.
I think it’s hard, because as the landscape of the “dream” continues to be drilled into emerging young and new professionals minds- the one that says we’ll have jobs and lives as soon as we graduate, then we’re let down. I know I thought I’d have my nifty little briefcase with a livable income in hand. Mark says I’m being silly, because after just seven months out of college, I’ve already been offered “work.”
I know that in many regards, I’m fortunate. But in others, I just thought that if I really worked hard enough, things would happen. That’s the American dream, isn’t it? I call bull.
Thanks for reading my vent. I think I needed it to kind of collect myself and keep my sanity.
(Notes from the Over Ambitious: I saw an online portfolio I thought was really neat. Now I want one. More work. More wear. Hopefully, more benefit to come. P.s– anyone have an idea what sites I could go to, to build my own online portfolio?)