The Over-Ambitious, Over-Achiever’s Gripe to Bare

There’s this scene in a 1999 favorite of mine Never Been Kissed where our leading lady Drew Barrymore’s character is very cleverly (read: not at all) interviewing a current high school student on her dreams and aspirations. The bright-eyed 17-year old responds that she wants to be a “potter, a painter, an architect, a novelist, and she wants to go to Southwestern.”

You know, from the outside looking in, she sounds pretty naive and doughy eyed. But sometimes, I feel a slight kinship to that doughy-eyed idea.

I graduated roughly three weeks ago and in my job search I have about 12 unanswered resume/emails saved. Naturally, my busy body personality is feeling the sting of only having a 4-6 hour a day part-time job. I was sent off from internships and classes with a vote of confidence from superiors and instructors that I would find a job in no time.

No time ended two weeks ago for me.

This lack of structured work, this schedule that would force me to do a certain task assigned to me has me off in la-la land in between resume/cover letter writing sessions.

In the last three weeks, not only have I only sent out a mere 12 resumes, I’ve researched 10 different graduate schools and programs that break off into about four different disciplines. Some related to public relations, some not really. I’ve researched MBA programs, MFA programs (that’s a laugh), and other programs I feel would help to enhance my writing or help create a nugget of visual art/media talent. I looked up fellowships, scholarships, and TA positions at local schools and schools I wish I had gone to for my undergrad.

On top of possible graduate programs, I’ve contemplated freelance work. I’ve contemplated starting my own business, services for programs/areas I’m truly passionate about. I’ve contemplated getting a start on that book I’ve always wanted to write.

To relate my opening paragraph to what I mean, I’m entering this time in my life where I’m thinking to myself, “I want to be a public relations/media relations/social media/marketing/advertising professional, a small business owner, a writer, an academic, and/or a community activist.”

Basically, I’d keep a similar schedule to what I had my last year in undergrad, but I’d make a little bit more money than I did. I’d love to have something akin to an 8-5 (although, anything I go into will likely be more than that), teach a class or two, have something to do that betters the community I came from and gave so much to me, and in my spare 20 minutes a day, write my first book while simultaneously running my own coffee shop/bar/restaurant/bookstore/winery/brewery hybrid.

Apparently, I enjoy being every where all at once.

If only money grew on trees, my lofty ambitions wouldn’t seem like so much to handle. If I still had my parents around I’d probably be much more motivated to take on graduate assistant positions at local colleges, study business administration in a very sports-specific way, but they’re not and I have to make a life for myself. If I had that kind of support, my ambitions would be met head on.

So, what am I going to do?

Well, I’m going to learn how to deal with this post-graduate, unemployed, bum-feeling I have and figure out which path(s) is best suited for the kind of life I dream of.

Here’s to hoping something opens up in 2012 that is well-suited for me but still strengthens my skills and tests my comfort zone.

Yay, #JobSearch12


One thought on “The Over-Ambitious, Over-Achiever’s Gripe to Bare

  1. Samantha – Great post! I think you’re writing on behalf of many, many frustrated recent grads. My advice: go get a job doing just about anything, anywhere. Your energy, enthusiasm, curiosity and tenacity will find the next step on your path as you work your way forward. It doesn’t matter so much where you start, just that you get started. Happy New Year and good luck!
    Lesa Evans

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