A Letter to the Resolutionaries

(Resolutionary: Someone who joins the gym after the New Year in attempt to lose their 50 lbs before their summer vacation. Okay, that’s an embellishment but not far from the truth according to personal trainers I’ve talked with.)

Hello Gym Newbs,

I won’t be too harsh on you. There was once a time in my life when I, too, was a resolutionary. A resolutionary in the sense that I rejoined a gym in January 2010. I didn’t resolve to lose weight in 2010, it was a mere coincidence that I happened to join at the tail end of the month.

You are the ones who are making me scared about next week. Next week, when I’ll want to come into the gym and do dead lifts, bench presses, run my fastest mile yet, and put my flat ass on one of those nifty spinning bikes, I’m afraid that you’ll be there. You’ll be there with your 5lb weights where I normally dead lift. Your nasty sweat marks all over the bench where I bench press because you don’t yet understand gym etiquette. There you’ll be walking on my favorite treadmills, walking uphill at a 3% incline, convinced you’re shedding the weight. And if I can’t get in spinning class, I’m tossing the first one who sits during a climb out of the room.

I urge you to spend some time with a personal trainer your first month at the gym. They will show you the etiquette and how not to slam your weights so hard my heart meets my tonsils. They will show you the right weights and repetitions to optimize your goal weight loss (or muscle gain). They may even motivate you so much that you lose the Resolutionary title the last week of February because you’re still there and still going hard. If you’re joining the BAC, I recommend Mike at the Downtown BAC. To this day, and I haven’t trained with him since February, I hear his voice when I want to give in on a circuit or in the middle of a rep.

And PLEASE, PLEASE take extra notice of the locker room etiquette. It’s not cool with everyone that your naked, pre or post showered, ass sit on the benches. It’s just not right.

Stick with the gym in an effective way and stay motivated (above all, find what you enjoy to do) and you’ll shed the weight, no problem. I lost 25lbs this year and probably would have lost more had it not been for that whole pesky School-Internship-Work schedule I held from August to December. I only exercised enough not to go crazy.

Alright, now go make some gym sales representative a happy woman or man.


A Regular.

(P.S You won’t lose 50lbs before June. If you do, congrats to you and you are the minority.)


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